If you have ever had something taken from you, the only way you feel better is to get it back. That is how i felt when it came to my body. I was molested as alittle girl by my father and as i grew up i felt like my body wasnt mine. It was taken from me and i felt like i had no control over who i gave it to because when it comes to men and dating, you eventually had to give it up or find someone else...and eventually have to give it up!
The cycle drove me insane and it was easier for me to have a one night stand than to date. I think it was because with a one night stand i made the choice and when it came to dating it is assumed to be inevitable.
When i started stripping i found a peace and as strange as it sounds, i was able to control the who, what, where and when. I was able to be as flirtateous and sexually expressive as i wanted...AND NOT HAVE TO HAVE SEX! It was a win win for me. I OWNED MY BODY... and that was something that i had to learn. That was something that wasnt instilled in me at a young age.
Sex was aquainted with pain..not love and until i was able to get my control back i wast able to see the consequences that stemed from being abused. I say all of this to say...it takes stregnth to move forward and to acknowledge your pain and discomforts. But you will not be able to do anything until you first............ TAKE BACK...what was taken from you. I dont mean go strip..lol but do find a way to vent and release that pain and negative energy so that you can become stronger in time...YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Your Girl...Bridgette
www.bridgettegriffin.com
We are going from A to Z... From mental and physical fitness to reality about who we really are. We are going to bridge the gap between who we are and who we want to be. VISIT MA @ WWW.BRIDGETTEGRIFFIN.COM
Hey from someone who can relate to what you been to, I would like to offer some things that you may connect with. I had to undergo therapy. I think all women should. Through research and my therapy, I found that different women go thru different things but all are extremes which none are normal nor healthy.
ReplyDeleteSome women become more sexual which could lead to promiscuity, some woman become frigid, some women stop dating men, some women become attracted to women... etc. It all is a process that a woman will go thru-- it's inevitable. But to realize that process should not have longevity is the moment you start healing.
If you are still doing such things you have not healed. I think we never COMPLETELY heal but there's a point you get to in your life where you have found sanity in all of it.
Personally, it took me to be able to do speeches about it and create focus groups. But, today if I did the it would be more effective because I learned thru that process not to just tell your story, but tell the story of others and to give statistics and fact on this manner. Mine was acquaintance rape so before I continued to do focus groups I had to research that kind of rape. I also had to figure out how to get out the process I was going thru which changed a few times until it was over. I was frigid and didn't want to be touched for almost a year, and then I turned to a woman, and then I turned to drinking which lead to sex. In fact, the only way I could deal with a man touching me was thru alcohol. When I was able to not use that as a clutch was when I knew I was healing.
Stripping is just another symptom of being raped. It's not healthy and it only creates a facade that you are healing but you are not. You are basically proving to the Universe that you are not in control. You just proved the man that we are sexual objects. We are way more than that. YOU are way more than that. Now, if you are "getting money" that's a different thing. But to let the world know that it basically was part of the process to your healing is not a great example. It's something you would want to leave out when talking to teenagers at a high school.
I just say this because I have studied this topic for years and many woman say the same thing you do and rationalize in their mind why doing certain things like sex, lesbianism, stripping etc is helping not hurting. I did it! The moment you stop rationalizing certain decisions is when you can make better ones. Trust me.
I am sorry this has happened to you. The person that did this to you needs help just as much as you do. The person that did this to you does not have love in their heart like you do. This person will be punished and should be not you. You don't have to be punished anymore love!
xo
Marika