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Monday, March 5, 2012


      Our very first family reunion consisted of my two older brothers and two older sisters, their kids, me, my father and his wife. We all met up at dads house. I wasnt excited about this reunion because no one in my family (except me) talks about the issues of the family. THEY ARE IN DENILE!! So they hugged and laughed, took pictures and talked as if we had been a big happy family for years.
     I sat in the corner and looked around the room at my siblings smiling and i could see was a sister who was battered by her current husband. Another sister with a bad drug habbit and my eldest brothers wife left him and the kids. The brother closest to me marries women with large families to compensate for the fact that we didnt have one and acts like life is good. But as i scan across the room even more i notice that my father is watching me watch them. As i look at him all i could see is all of the abuse he inflicted on all of us, especially his daughters and i get sick to my stomach and say my goodbyes.
     The saddest part of all of this is that my fathers wife doesnt know he's a child molester, my brothers wife didn't know that leaving his daughters with their grandparents may not be a good idea, and my sisters never told about what dad did to them. FAMILY SECRETS are real and every family has them. Think about the things your hiding and KNOW that your family has secrets too. Its not fair to bring people into your life and you are keeping secrets. Let people chose wheather or not YOUR SECRET is something THEY WANT /CAN deal with. NO MORE SECRETS!!!!


Your Girl.....Bridgette

Monday, February 27, 2012


     I am a 34B. My breasts are small and at times when I look at myself in the mirror i see a grown woman with little girl, teenage breasts. I remember when i was a little girl my father told me that if he massaged my breasts they would grow. I had no idea that this was a lie, let alone DEAD ASS WRONG! I tought that him touching me like that was the way all fathers showed affection. Until one day i told a friend that when i grow up i am gonna have big breasts because my daddy rubs them all the time. Well, to my surprise she said her daddy said that no one is supposed to touch her there cause its one of her private places. So when i went home to ask my daddy why he touches my private places and he said its because he loves me more than her daddy loves her.
     Not only is this post for the mothers who need to remind their daughters of their private places but it is for the fathers who need to know that they are the first example of a man that their daughters see. Also, that everything they do and say is what their daughters will think is supposed to be done or said if men love them.
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Your Girl....Bridgette

Monday, February 13, 2012


     If you have ever had something taken from you, the only way you feel better is to get it back. That is how i felt when it came to my body. I was molested as alittle girl by my father and as i grew up i felt like my body wasnt mine. It was taken from me and i felt like i had no control over who i gave it to because when it comes to men and dating, you eventually had to give it up or find someone else...and eventually have to give it up!
     The cycle drove me insane and it was easier for me to have a one night stand than to date. I think it was because with a one night stand i made the choice and when it came to dating it is assumed to be inevitable.     
     When i started stripping i found a peace and as strange as it sounds, i was able to control the who, what, where and when. I was able to be as flirtateous and sexually expressive as i wanted...AND NOT HAVE TO HAVE SEX! It was a win win for me. I OWNED MY BODY... and that was something that i had to learn. That was something that wasnt instilled in me at a young age.
     Sex was aquainted with pain..not love and until i was able to get my control back i wast able to see the consequences that stemed from being abused. I say all of this to takes stregnth to move forward and to acknowledge your pain and discomforts. But you will not be able to do anything until you first............ TAKE BACK...what was taken from you. I dont mean go but do find a way to vent and release that pain and negative energy so that you can become stronger in time...YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Your Girl...Bridgette

Monday, February 6, 2012

Don't touch me in my sleep!

     My ex-husband thought that since he was my husband, he should be able to touch me whenever and however he wanted. As if my body wasn't mine. He would get angry when i would say STOP! And even after i told him that touching me between my legs when i'm sleeping reminds me of being molested as a child, HE STILL DID IT! I would wake up in tears or swinging because in a deep sleep i wasnt aware of my surroundings. He was someone i thought should understand my issue... but he didnt!
     I would feel less of a wife because i assumed that if i wasnt molested i would be ok with him touching me like that. But, what i have learned from other women is that they dont like that shit either. Now i cant speak for all women, just the ones i've spoken with. They told me that if i am uncomfortable with the way i am being handled, i need to discuss it and hope that the person i am with is compassionate and understanding enough to stop. But if they are not, i have to put my mental stability first and move on.
     To women that dont like to be groped or fondeled in your sleep or when your awake, discuss it with your partner and find a happy medium and if they cant respect the fact that this really upsets you....keep it moving!