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Monday, March 5, 2012

FAMILY SECRETS!!

      Our very first family reunion consisted of my two older brothers and two older sisters, their kids, me, my father and his wife. We all met up at dads house. I wasnt excited about this reunion because no one in my family (except me) talks about the issues of the family. THEY ARE IN DENILE!! So they hugged and laughed, took pictures and talked as if we had been a big happy family for years.
     I sat in the corner and looked around the room at my siblings smiling and i could see was a sister who was battered by her current husband. Another sister with a bad drug habbit and my eldest brothers wife left him and the kids. The brother closest to me marries women with large families to compensate for the fact that we didnt have one and acts like life is good. But as i scan across the room even more i notice that my father is watching me watch them. As i look at him all i could see is all of the abuse he inflicted on all of us, especially his daughters and i get sick to my stomach and say my goodbyes.
     The saddest part of all of this is that my fathers wife doesnt know he's a child molester, my brothers wife didn't know that leaving his daughters with their grandparents may not be a good idea, and my sisters never told about what dad did to them. FAMILY SECRETS are real and every family has them. Think about the things your hiding and KNOW that your family has secrets too. Its not fair to bring people into your life and you are keeping secrets. Let people chose wheather or not YOUR SECRET is something THEY WANT /CAN deal with. NO MORE SECRETS!!!!

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Your Girl.....Bridgette

3 comments:

  1. Family secrets can take away a person's right to decide on whether or not they want to deal, I agree. Secrets in general are cover ups to what judgment we think may be passed upon us, or fearing that shared information may be thrown up in our face at a later time. But when is the best time to disclose serious dysfunction within your own family, and say to someone that you've been negatively effected by it? That's the tough part about discussing secrets or things very personal that may be unhealed wounds. Again, thanks for taking the step forward to talk about the uncomfortable topics. #SomethingToThinkAbout

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  2. Great but sad post Bridgette. I agree that you should share certain things with people if you are getting msrried and having children with them.Especially the things tht you are speaking about. It is not something you must share with everyone unless you are helping them like you are doing. You opening up and telling your story and the way you deal and overcame things and continue to learn and grow from lifes challenges.

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  3. Unfortunately this is very common especially amongst black families, as children we are told "What goes on in this household stays in this household" and there was severe punishment for disloyalty. Most victims keep the silence out of shame, embarrassment,fear of being ostracized or blamed, mostly these thoughts were verbalized by the abuser to prevent the victim telling anyone and them being exposed, this is part of the manipulation. But, the bottom line is... when you keep the silence, you protect the abuser and allow them to continued to abused. ~Author Phillis T. Forrest~

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